Your child may only be two or seven years old when you divorce, but if you don’t address in your Parenting Plan NOW who will pay for college, you’ll be back in an expensive court battle with your ex before you know it.
While it is not possible to see everything lurking in your crystal ball, not looking far enough ahead and not considering as many possibilities as you can, are major mistakes that people make when writing up and agreeing to a Parenting Plan.
You can agree to almost anything in your Parenting Plan (as long as it’s no illegal, of course). For instance, one women who’s (car and bike fanatical) husband had got in a drunk driving accident with their son, stipulated that their children will not be allowed to be a passenger on or drive a motor bike until they are 18.
A Divorce Coach at www.divorcedoula.com can help you write a personalized, comprehensive Parenting Plan to take into your lawyer.
In this post, please share with others, stipulations in your Parenting Plan that have been useful and what stipulations others should avoid.
Friday, April 4, 2008
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BLOG ABOUT?
Let us know what other topic you’d like to see addressed in this blog.
Please contact beth@divorcedoula.com with your suggestions.
Thanks!
Please contact beth@divorcedoula.com with your suggestions.
Thanks!
RESOURCES
Do you have a GREAT attorney, counselor, financial advisor or other professional who you’d like to recommend to others. Please list them here.
Here’s a few:
Divorce Coaches
Financial, Practical, Emotional Advice
Divorce Doula, Inc.
http://www.divorcedoula.com/
Family Law Attorney
Rosemarie Warren-LeMoine (Bellevue)
425-462-0838
Family Counselor
Jo Tamayao-Hanson, M.S.W./L.M.H.C.
425-485-4755
206-478-3503
How to find a lawyer in the State of Wa
Washington State Bar Association
(Also has online public resources.)
www.wsba.org
Locate a Family Therapist Near You
American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy
Website:
www.aamft.org
Here’s a few:
Divorce Coaches
Financial, Practical, Emotional Advice
Divorce Doula, Inc.
http://www.divorcedoula.com/
Family Law Attorney
Rosemarie Warren-LeMoine (Bellevue)
425-462-0838
Family Counselor
Jo Tamayao-Hanson, M.S.W./L.M.H.C.
425-485-4755
206-478-3503
How to find a lawyer in the State of Wa
Washington State Bar Association
(Also has online public resources.)
www.wsba.org
Locate a Family Therapist Near You
American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy
Website:
www.aamft.org
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
JUST FOR KIDS
Divorce affects kids, too!
Kids (of all ages) this is your place to post your thoughts on how to help other kids get through those first few tough years of adjustment, and beyond. Thanks for your comments!
Kids (of all ages) this is your place to post your thoughts on how to help other kids get through those first few tough years of adjustment, and beyond. Thanks for your comments!
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
MEN AND MONEY
Women aren’t the only ones affected financially by divorce.
Not all men have the scruples of a man I know who earns $170,000 and who’s second wife earns the same, allowing them a total take home pay of $20,000.00 each month, while he sends his two children just one tenth of his income in child support, even though Washington State allows up to 45% of the non-custodial parent’s income to be given as child support. He was happy to fully support his children if he was married to their mother, but not anymore. And, even though, on the child support worksheets there is a place to put the other adult in the household’s income (presumably if you have someone sharing household expenses, then you have more of your own income available to you to give to your children) it seems that this is taken into consideration in too few circumstances.
At the other end of the spectrum, I know a married couple where the wife works and the husband is a stay-at-home dad; attending scout meetings and coaching soccer. If they were to divorce, this man would be in the same position as many women who have been non- or low- wage earners during a marriage – akin to being fresh out of college. I’ve also heard of a friend-of-a-friend who lives back east’, whose ex-wife is a college professor, and both their children are grown and left home, yet he still has to pay her maintenance in perpetuity.
Somehow, there must be a better way to equal out the finances. It’s very difficult, especially in situations where there has been only one wage earner in the household during the marriage. Can that person now support two households? The ideals of having one parent stay home for the children don’t seem so easy any more. However, there is still the issue that the spouse who hasn’t worked for 5,10,15,20 years has no more earning capability than a 23 year old out of college.
In his book “The Complete Single Father”, author and single father, Michael Shimberg says “The first commandment for single dads is the mantra TOYK, or ‘think of your kids’. This is an important concept and puts perspective and priorities on all other decisions you make.”
This post is for the men out there who do support financial equality for their spouse who stayed home for their children all those years while he ‘climbed the corporate ladder’; for the men out there who do have their children’s best interests in mind (no matter what they think of, or feel about, their ex); for the men out there who want to work towards changing legislation and challenging lawmakers.
Your positive and proactive suggestions are welcome. Please share your experiences with situations that have worked, so that we can all benefit from your solutions.
Not all men have the scruples of a man I know who earns $170,000 and who’s second wife earns the same, allowing them a total take home pay of $20,000.00 each month, while he sends his two children just one tenth of his income in child support, even though Washington State allows up to 45% of the non-custodial parent’s income to be given as child support. He was happy to fully support his children if he was married to their mother, but not anymore. And, even though, on the child support worksheets there is a place to put the other adult in the household’s income (presumably if you have someone sharing household expenses, then you have more of your own income available to you to give to your children) it seems that this is taken into consideration in too few circumstances.
At the other end of the spectrum, I know a married couple where the wife works and the husband is a stay-at-home dad; attending scout meetings and coaching soccer. If they were to divorce, this man would be in the same position as many women who have been non- or low- wage earners during a marriage – akin to being fresh out of college. I’ve also heard of a friend-of-a-friend who lives back east’, whose ex-wife is a college professor, and both their children are grown and left home, yet he still has to pay her maintenance in perpetuity.
Somehow, there must be a better way to equal out the finances. It’s very difficult, especially in situations where there has been only one wage earner in the household during the marriage. Can that person now support two households? The ideals of having one parent stay home for the children don’t seem so easy any more. However, there is still the issue that the spouse who hasn’t worked for 5,10,15,20 years has no more earning capability than a 23 year old out of college.
In his book “The Complete Single Father”, author and single father, Michael Shimberg says “The first commandment for single dads is the mantra TOYK, or ‘think of your kids’. This is an important concept and puts perspective and priorities on all other decisions you make.”
This post is for the men out there who do support financial equality for their spouse who stayed home for their children all those years while he ‘climbed the corporate ladder’; for the men out there who do have their children’s best interests in mind (no matter what they think of, or feel about, their ex); for the men out there who want to work towards changing legislation and challenging lawmakers.
Your positive and proactive suggestions are welcome. Please share your experiences with situations that have worked, so that we can all benefit from your solutions.
BOOKS AND RESOURCES
Please post books and resources here that will help other women.
Here’s a few (you can find more at www.divorcedoula.com):
BOOKS
“Rise Above Your Divorce and Land on Your F.E.E.T; be Financially confident, Emotionally stable, Efficiently organized and Tomorrow focused” by Elizabeth Rand
(This book is not yet available. To be included on the Publication Announcement list, please send your e-mail address to beth@divorcedoula.com.)
“Fair Share Divorce” by Kathleen Miller
WEBSITES
http://www.divorcenet.com/
http://www.divorcesource.com/
http://www.divorcesupport.com/
DIVORCE COACHES
Did you know that, at the time of this posting, that Divorce Doula is the only DIVORCE COACH that divorcenet.com has listed for the State of Washington. Please let us know how we can help you. http://www.divorcedoula.com/
Here’s a few (you can find more at www.divorcedoula.com):
BOOKS
“Rise Above Your Divorce and Land on Your F.E.E.T; be Financially confident, Emotionally stable, Efficiently organized and Tomorrow focused” by Elizabeth Rand
(This book is not yet available. To be included on the Publication Announcement list, please send your e-mail address to beth@divorcedoula.com.)
“Fair Share Divorce” by Kathleen Miller
WEBSITES
http://www.divorcenet.com/
http://www.divorcesource.com/
http://www.divorcesupport.com/
DIVORCE COACHES
Did you know that, at the time of this posting, that Divorce Doula is the only DIVORCE COACH that divorcenet.com has listed for the State of Washington. Please let us know how we can help you. http://www.divorcedoula.com/
COMMUNITY PROPERTY
Did you know that airmiles (even those accrued from your spouse’s business travel) are community property?!
A Divorce Coach at http://www.divorcedoula.com/ can help you write your Financial and Property Settlement Order draft.
Help others by posting here what else do you know of that is community property, that might not commonly be thought of as half yours!
A Divorce Coach at http://www.divorcedoula.com/ can help you write your Financial and Property Settlement Order draft.
Help others by posting here what else do you know of that is community property, that might not commonly be thought of as half yours!
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