I've seen too many women trying to save money by representing themselves in a divorce and end up loosing significantly more money for the rest of their lives. One woman represented herself and she ended up with no maintenance, very low child support, no car, no money for her own re-education after being a stay-at-home mother during an 18 year marriage, etc. Another woman didn't ask for child support or maintenance at all, because she initiated the divorce and felt guilty about hurting her husband. Her husband earns $400,000/yr, and right now she's in danger of loosing everything - her new business and her home - because she's completely run out of money. She can't get a business loan or another mortgage or even rent an apartment because she has no independent credit or work history. If both of these women, and so many more like them could have found a few thousand dollars to pay a attorney for their divorce proceedings, they would now be able to start paying that expense off and still have money to live on. Now, both of these women are in serious financial difficulties. I hired a attorney, and I own a house, a cabin, I'm getting the maximum child support (that the state allows), and maintenance for 4 years.
Consider it the equivalent of getting a student loan to start your life off again. If you decide not to go to college in order to save money you end up in a low paying job for the rest of your life. However, if you get a loan and pay for college, you end up with a higher paying job, eventually pay off your student loan, and then live comfortably for the rest of your life. Not that you are guaranteed of "winning" everything, if you do hire a attorney, but if you don't hire a attorney now it can affect you the rest of your life; how can you know what you are entitled to and how can you know how to fight for it, if you do not have the knowledge and experience that you are hiring a attorney for? Not only do women tend not fight so hard for their rights when they go pro bono, they don't even know what all their rights are. Find the money somewhere, somehow!
A Divorce Coach at www.divorcedoula.com can help you save money by helping you prepare your documents before you go into your lawyer.
Share your positive experiences with obtaining a sufficient divorce settlement. Please help other women to make the right decision during a tough time in their life. Suggest how we can help women find the money for their legal fees – micro-loans, family loans, attorneys who extend credit, etc? One way to save money is to get a Divorce Coach to help prepare all your documents before you go into your attorney. If you go in and ask the attorney to start the whole process, you can be paying $200 - $300+ an hour for administrative details. Please share with other women what has worked for you
Disclaimer: I’m not a attorney and I don’t get any “kick-backs” from any attorneys. I just sincerely believe, from my own experiences and from watching those of others, that if you don’t hire a attorney to represent you now, it will affect you and your children for the rest of your lives.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
WORKING SINGLE MOTHERS
Please post comments here about re-entering the workforce.
Many of us have stayed home during a marriage in order to raise our children. This was a joint decision and supported by our then-husbands. Suddenly after 5,10,15,20 years we are forced to go out and work. While our ex's have spent the past years building their career and getting raises, we are in the same financial situation as a person straight out of college. People straight out of college don't usually have 2.5 children to support, rent or mortgage for a home big enough to house a family, childcare costs, perhaps even college costs for their own children, need I go on?
Statistics say that a woman who has been out of the workforce for just three years looses 37% of her earning power.
Sadly, a lot of women don't know to ask for maintenance (formerly known as alimony), or their lawyer's don't address the issues. For instance, in Washington State, the guidelines are that the woman should receive one year of maintenance or every three years of the relationship (relationship! - not marriage). However, these are just guidelines, and there is no standard as to how much maintenance a women should receive.
In addition, credit worthiness is not community property. Once a woman who was a low- or non-wage earner in a marriage divorces, it's very difficult, if not impossible to qualify for any credit - she doesn't have a job (or has a too low paying job) in order to qualify and/or to afford the payments, and/or she doesn't have any equity in a home. The husband, who has always had a job, and can show stable income, can still easily get credit, and afford the payments. This needs to be taken into consideration at the time of the divorce settlement.
Save money! A Divorce Coach at www.divorcedoula.com can help you prepare your financial orders before you go into your attorney.
Share your experiences, and share what you think can proactively be done about this inequality.
Many of us have stayed home during a marriage in order to raise our children. This was a joint decision and supported by our then-husbands. Suddenly after 5,10,15,20 years we are forced to go out and work. While our ex's have spent the past years building their career and getting raises, we are in the same financial situation as a person straight out of college. People straight out of college don't usually have 2.5 children to support, rent or mortgage for a home big enough to house a family, childcare costs, perhaps even college costs for their own children, need I go on?
Statistics say that a woman who has been out of the workforce for just three years looses 37% of her earning power.
Sadly, a lot of women don't know to ask for maintenance (formerly known as alimony), or their lawyer's don't address the issues. For instance, in Washington State, the guidelines are that the woman should receive one year of maintenance or every three years of the relationship (relationship! - not marriage). However, these are just guidelines, and there is no standard as to how much maintenance a women should receive.
In addition, credit worthiness is not community property. Once a woman who was a low- or non-wage earner in a marriage divorces, it's very difficult, if not impossible to qualify for any credit - she doesn't have a job (or has a too low paying job) in order to qualify and/or to afford the payments, and/or she doesn't have any equity in a home. The husband, who has always had a job, and can show stable income, can still easily get credit, and afford the payments. This needs to be taken into consideration at the time of the divorce settlement.
Save money! A Divorce Coach at www.divorcedoula.com can help you prepare your financial orders before you go into your attorney.
Share your experiences, and share what you think can proactively be done about this inequality.
CHILD SUPPORT INADEQUACY
Please post comments under this topic regarding how we can be proactive in addressing the child support inadequacy problem.
For instance, in Washington State the child support schedule has not been adjusted for inflation since 1991.
In addition, the McCausland case ruled that you can't extrapolate beyond the cap, which is currently $7000. A father I know earns twice that, but only LEGALLY has to pay child support on half his income. And while most of his income used to go to his children, he now LEGALLY gives them 10%.
Our children live in near poverty, while their non-custodial parents are well off. What can we do about these inadequacies?
Save money! A Divorce Coach at www.divorcedoula.com can help prepare your Child Support Order and your Parenting Plan before you go into your lawyer.
For instance, in Washington State the child support schedule has not been adjusted for inflation since 1991.
In addition, the McCausland case ruled that you can't extrapolate beyond the cap, which is currently $7000. A father I know earns twice that, but only LEGALLY has to pay child support on half his income. And while most of his income used to go to his children, he now LEGALLY gives them 10%.
Our children live in near poverty, while their non-custodial parents are well off. What can we do about these inadequacies?
Save money! A Divorce Coach at www.divorcedoula.com can help prepare your Child Support Order and your Parenting Plan before you go into your lawyer.
Friday, March 28, 2008
WELCOME
Welcome to Divorce Doula's new blog!
Posting will begin by mid-April, so please check back.
If you need help with your divorce, please contact info@divorcedoula.com and let us know how we can help you!
Thanks!
Beth
Posting will begin by mid-April, so please check back.
If you need help with your divorce, please contact info@divorcedoula.com and let us know how we can help you!
Thanks!
Beth
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