Your site is catered to women in post divorce situations. Not that the discussion or services that you propose are invalid, but it doesn’t address the other half of the equation in a divorce and assumes that the women’s problems are their ex spouses rather than their own. For instance, you assume that women in a divorce are traditionally left in a compromised position rather than looking at it from surrounding sides that would suggest that she’s responsible for putting herself in a compromised situation. A few suggestions to address for ‘us divorced men’ where we’ve been more the providers and our ex-wives the child and household caretakers and for women who have created problems of their own might include:
1. Even though they may say they want to work, not all women want to work. They choose to stay home on their own, regardless of how they’ve coined the situation, and as they move in to a divorce they are mentally deficient in the means to find successful work or are in denial about how they need to proceed. How do these women find a way to make a mental shift to become productive members of society? Why aren’t they working? Are they finding excuses to not work rather than actually trying to find a way to make use of themselves? Shifting from home caretaker to home and productive worker in our world takes some gusto for a women who has managed to avoid doing that up to the time that she’s divorced. It would be useful in the long haul to find ways for her to make this mental shift before her spousal support runs out rather than devote the interim time to finding ways to such money from the ex-husband.
2. Many women (and men) are simply angry with their ex-spouse after a divorce. Anger tends to interfere with rational thinking and also interferes in the need to ‘make something good of my life’ dilemma. Angry people seem to make more a mess of their lives than make good of it. It seems that they can’t get through to the next step until their minds have cleared the air and some form of rational thought has resurfaced, which can take years and never seems to come at all for some people. Suggestions on where to go or what to do to fix that?
3. The ‘last word’ dilemma. Women (at the risk of being sexist) are generally worse about feeling like they need to get the last word in than men. This is a real waste of time for all involved, including the ‘last word’ addict. It’s petty behavior that borders on the ridiculous at times and generally fuels the anger problem mentioned above. Suggestions on where to go or what to do to fix that?
4. The biggest problem – that of moving on. Women (again, at the risk of being sexist), like to say that they’ve moved on yet their anger, obsessive behavior with getting the ‘last word in’ and ‘winning’ against their ex, general antagonistic approach to situations with their ex and lastly, the perpetual self-pity victim mode is not really moving on, is it? Moving on generally means that you launched yourself off the angry soap box and have actually made an enjoyable, productive and secure life for yourself.
Basically, it looks as though you’ve given compromised women the idea that they should sink teeth into their ex husband rather than looking for ways to help them on a more profound level that would leave them more ‘whole’. That and there is little to appeal to the men that find your site although maybe that was never the intent as clearly you’re trying to make the case that women are generally the casualities in a divorce and there aren’t enough men who are casualities that would provide support for your business. Or, you just don’t have a knowledge base that would serve men that does make one wonder whether you’re really doing a service to the women that you’re appealing to.
1 comment:
Your site is catered to women in post divorce situations. Not that the discussion or services that you propose are invalid, but it doesn’t address the other half of the equation in a divorce and assumes that the women’s problems are their ex spouses rather than their own. For instance, you assume that women in a divorce are traditionally left in a compromised position rather than looking at it from surrounding sides that would suggest that she’s responsible for putting herself in a compromised situation. A few suggestions to address for ‘us divorced men’ where we’ve been more the providers and our ex-wives the child and household caretakers and for women who have created problems of their own might include:
1. Even though they may say they want to work, not all women want to work. They choose to stay home on their own, regardless of how they’ve coined the situation, and as they move in to a divorce they are mentally deficient in the means to find successful work or are in denial about how they need to proceed. How do these women find a way to make a mental shift to become productive members of society? Why aren’t they working? Are they finding excuses to not work rather than actually trying to find a way to make use of themselves? Shifting from home caretaker to home and productive worker in our world takes some gusto for a women who has managed to avoid doing that up to the time that she’s divorced. It would be useful in the long haul to find ways for her to make this mental shift before her spousal support runs out rather than devote the interim time to finding ways to such money from the ex-husband.
2. Many women (and men) are simply angry with their ex-spouse after a divorce. Anger tends to interfere with rational thinking and also interferes in the need to ‘make something good of my life’ dilemma. Angry people seem to make more a mess of their lives than make good of it. It seems that they can’t get through to the next step until their minds have cleared the air and some form of rational thought has resurfaced, which can take years and never seems to come at all for some people. Suggestions on where to go or what to do to fix that?
3. The ‘last word’ dilemma. Women (at the risk of being sexist) are generally worse about feeling like they need to get the last word in than men. This is a real waste of time for all involved, including the ‘last word’ addict. It’s petty behavior that borders on the ridiculous at times and generally fuels the anger problem mentioned above. Suggestions on where to go or what to do to fix that?
4. The biggest problem – that of moving on. Women (again, at the risk of being sexist), like to say that they’ve moved on yet their anger, obsessive behavior with getting the ‘last word in’ and ‘winning’ against their ex, general antagonistic approach to situations with their ex and lastly, the perpetual self-pity victim mode is not really moving on, is it? Moving on generally means that you launched yourself off the angry soap box and have actually made an enjoyable, productive and secure life for yourself.
Basically, it looks as though you’ve given compromised women the idea that they should sink teeth into their ex husband rather than looking for ways to help them on a more profound level that would leave them more ‘whole’. That and there is little to appeal to the men that find your site although maybe that was never the intent as clearly you’re trying to make the case that women are generally the casualities in a divorce and there aren’t enough men who are casualities that would provide support for your business. Or, you just don’t have a knowledge base that would serve men that does make one wonder whether you’re really doing a service to the women that you’re appealing to.
Just my 2-cents for the day as a divorced man.
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